Midlife Revised

I think it’s only fitting that my first real post comes with a bit of self-deprecation. Here’s the story: girl meets shoes, shoe company hires her. Ten years later, they break up with me — corporate style. (You know, the “it’s not you, it’s me” version.)

No matter how many times they tell me it’s not me, at the end of the day, being laid off feels like shit.

And you can’t help but question everything:

• 🤔 What could I have done differently?
• 🤷‍♀️ Why me and not the other guy?
• 😕 Am I a bad employee?
• 😱 What the hell am I going to do now?
• 😡 Do I hate them? (Possibly…)

But here’s the thing — these moments don’t define you. Even if you made a mistake, it doesn’t define you. Mistakes, failures, pain — they can grow you if you let them. Chin up, buttercup. The world needs more of you.

You’re in the in-between right now: between jobs, between transitions, between chapters of your career. And I’m here to reassure you: YOU WILL BE OK.

Right now, in this sensitive time, it’s easy to talk yourself into oblivion. But this is not the time to put yourself down. This is the time to give yourself some fucking grace.

Here’s what can help — or at least what’s helped me

Pre-Work: Cry. 😭

That’s it. Get it all out.

Step 1 (Day 1–2): Make a To-Do list. 📝

This should be just a list — do not take action (yet!). Write down everything you need to do to get yourself through this period: apply for unemployment, review your budget, go to the doctor, buy a laptop, etc. Jot it in a phone note, a journal, a Google Doc — anywhere. The key is to write it down and put it away.

Step 2: Take a break. 🛋️

I know it feels counterintuitive — you just lost your income. But seriously, take an emotional break. Prioritize your mental health before you jump into action mode.

Step 3: Take stock of your emotions. 💖

A therapist once told me: “Take 10–15 minutes to sit without distractions and just breathe.” Identify every feeling that bubbles up — sadness, fear, relief, anger, hope. Let yourself laugh if you need to. Cry if you need to. You’ve got a 15-minute grace period to feel all of it — without judgment.

Step 4: Connect with your support system. 🤝

Reach out to your people — on your terms and timeline. But don’t isolate yourself into harmful self-talk. You need your people. Period.

Break idea: 😭 cry first, then look at that to-do list again.

Step 5: Revise your budget. 💸

If you don’t normally review your finances — welcome to hell. Break your budget into security (items that would leave you homeless), needs (items that impact your health), and wants (everything else). Cancel subscriptions, freeze memberships, call credit cards to defer payments. List every expense so you can make decisions and adjust quickly.

Step 6: Update your resume. ✍️

AI is allowed — don’t hesitate to use it as a starting point.

Break idea: 😭 cry again. It’s fine.

Step 7: Connect with your network. 🌐

Reach out to former managers, mentors, or colleagues. Get coffee, ask questions, and request recommendations for LinkedIn. That network is a secret superpower — use it.

Step 8: Create a routine. 🕰️

Treat this time like a new job — and every meeting on your calendar is for you. Fill it with workouts, key tasks, hobbies, and personal growth. Pencil-down around early afternoon to focus on family or personal time.

Step 9: Apply for jobs. 💼

LinkedIn offers a free trial — do it. Reach out to recruiters. Apply, apply, apply — aim for 1–2 a day, and stick to it.

Step 10: Prep for interviews. 🎙️

Google STAR interview questions. Treat them like journal entries at first — jot down your wins and accomplishments. Remember: you have done great things. More than you realize.

Break idea: 😭 you guessed it — cry.

Why this process matters

Losing a job takes a huge toll — mentally, emotionally, physically. Don’t skip the self-care. Otherwise, you risk jumping into the next thing too fast and carrying all that pain with you.

Each in-between is an invitation to discover who you really are — so that you can build a future you deserve.

A few books that have helped me lately:

• 📚 Get Good with Money — Tiffany Aliche
• 📚 Don’t Believe Everything You Think — Joseph Nguyen
• 📚 Letting Go — David R. Hawkins

Your turn — I want to hear from you

If you’re in-between:

• ❓ How can I help?
• ❓ What questions do you have?
• ❓ What would you like to hear about next?

Let me know — I’m here. And remember to be nice to yourself today.

💛 Mila